Nihil Verum Nisi Mors

       Nihil Verum Nisi Mors  - A Latin phrase meaning nothing is true but death, or preferably, nothing is true but the finality of death.  I enjoy this phrase partly because of its blunt, unapologetic aire. But also because it is the closest representation of a sensible spirituality that I can imagine.

My tattoo (inspired by Marilyn Manson and Triptykon) 

     It is not that I believe that there are no true facts aside that all processes come to an end or that all living things die. This is more than just a morbid fascination with death. I believe that the search for truth is more important than anything in a person's life. More than happiness, more than advancing one's position is society, etc. There are many arguments to the contrary, but I cannot fathom a meaningful existence based on my own desires as a minuscule individual in the
vastness of the universe. Also, it seems impossible to be able to deal with death realistically while assuming that your experience as an individual is what matters most.

        Finality is a controlling factor. The main anchor that the search for truth rests on. As hard as we try to evade death and to make it seem a minor part of our lives. It is something that informs most major decisions that we make. North American society in particular has a strange relationship with death. It is fetishized by the media, but shunned as a topic of everyday conversation. While other cultures have a more mature and subdued relationship with it, our culture seems to be a pubescent child, still playing with the reality of death.

To me, this phrase reflects that everything we are comes down to biological facts. Our consciousness, emotions, and all those mysterious things that occur in our mental processes come down to physical realities. I cannot understand why people feel defeated by this idea. What is more empowering than knowing that the inner workings of our minds are discoverable?  That our understanding of the human experience does not rely on some mysterious religiosity or spirituality?

We are able to see how complex physical beings can arise from evolutionary processes, however we are still faltering when it comes to seeing that evolutionary processes also apply to mental processes. Cells, neurons, energy - the building blocks of both physical and conscious existence.

In many ways, death is a god. It directs life by providing limits and also by providing a fuel and motivation for continued life. Inescapable, omnipresent, and poetic, it inspires existential contemplation like no other subject. Perhaps if it was accepted as a necessary and important part of our lives, it would be dealt with in a useful way, rather than fetishized and feared.

    Anomie: The ultimate and most legitimate first world problem. 

      I have recently been reminded of my love of Emile Durkheim's writing. To be honest, I am often annoyed by sociology, it has a tendency to be impractical, characterised by battles of semantics. Nevertheless, Durkheim is a sociologist who's words tend to ring true and grow increasingly relevant despite that he died in 1917.

     My favourite concept of his is "anomie" - the ultimate and most legitimate first world problem.

     How is it that people constantly under the threat of death, barely able to survive, perhaps in deplorable living conditions, cling to life so desperately while people in first world countries commit suicides in their suburbs? How is it possible that depression is characterised as a predominantly western disease?

     We may think that it is because the first world encourages a culture of weakness, that we are not as strong as predecessors who faced World Wars and the Great Depression. We hear all too many jokes about "first world problems." I do believe this is partly true. We've developed a confusing admiration for beta mentality. We do forget that food, shelter, and security are actually difficult to attain. A large majority have grown bloated with luxury.
     However, I also believe that there are genuine ailments that can only be found in first world societies. Not weakness, but conditions that reduce our perceived value of life. Or put in more melancholy terms, cause us to impose a more realistic value on life.   I feel this is best described with Durkheim's word - anomie.

As Durkheim describes in The Division of Labour in Society,  anomie is a condition of derangement that arises when social bonds are broken between individuals and communities. People are left with only their ego as guidance because there is a gap between cultural promises and structural realities.  It is where the individual “aspires to everything and is satisfied with nothing” (Durkheim's Suicide). When not tempered by the struggle to survive, societal norms, or become detached from the illusions of religion, people are faced with the challenge of confronting the reality of our loneliness. The fact that our consciousness is ultimately our own - that collective consciousness is external - can be comforting, but it can also be terrifying.

 It's not academic at all, but here is something I wrote that is related to this:

 Anomie: Where I am

I live on the verge of tears, often for months at a time, never knowing when I might slip into some chasm and lose my way out.

Through some cruel coincidence, it is in this place, along this verge, that I feel the most clarity. Inspiration emanating from fissures of the broken earth, stinging with a profound illumination as I fall in, tumbling into depths where simple pleasures cannot reach.

Here, impossibly, inescapably, I grow blisters from pains inflicted on others. Vicariously, I feel the harm inflicted upon reason and upon those I do not know. It is only once falling into this miserable depth that I can become more than myself; where I can feel the consciousness of the world resonating through the walls of this place I have fallen into.

Although I should escape, it is by a morbid fascination that I remain. Being more than an individual, despite reality, is my choice. Consequently, I know this place along the verge will be one I frequent for the rest of my life.